First I would like to apologize for not updating regularly. I have recently moved back out on my own into a tiny studio apartment right off of campus. I transferred stores and am working at a new local (completely disorganized) store. I did bring my kitty, who has not fully adjusted yet. She keeps waking me up in the middle of the night wanting to play so I haven't really been getting a whole lot of sleep especially with working nearly full time and taking classes full time.
As for any gaining ... it has been extremely uneventful. I thought that moving to a larger city and being closer to Detroit would allow me to find someone that would be interested in pursuing some sort of relationship, but I have been sadly mistaken.
With all of the walking on campus and not getting regular sleep I have already lost 3 lbs in the matter of a week and a half. This is why I feel that I need someone who would like to have a gainer/feeder or mutual gaining relationship.
I know that we all have these bouts of depression, of which I am going through now. Every once in awhile I feel the need to just take all of my information/videos/pics down and just lose all of the weight that I have gained. And plenty of people try and console me and say that "If I were around your area I would date you". Which basically doesn't make anyone feel better. While others say that they will come and visit, making false promises after fantasizing about what they want to do to me or have me do to them. This is just like rubbing salt in a fresh cut, like I have said before ... I am more than just your fantasy, your secret perversion that you are too afraid to vocalize in person, the image in the back of your head as your toes cringe while you are getting off. I am a person with emotions. I am not perfect, I know that. There is no need to point out my many faults; my inability to fully control my emotions. I will not be silenced, I will not be ignored. I will find someone eventually.
Stuffmebloated
besides being great looking, you are "a-ok". Nice job expressing who you are and that you are more than just a tool for people tp get off on. Be patient -- your prince will come!
ReplyDeleteI think you are just experiencing a temporary setback related to your new surroundings. I also know all about dealing with online connections and the false promises that are made. However, if you sincerely want a simple friendship with someone who wants to help you achieve your goals, I would be more than happy to become a "weekend buddy." I have driven up to southern Michigan in the past to meet big guys that I chatted with online, so it's nothing new to me. I love the whole concept of being a feeder and encourager, and would be honored to help you reach your goals. Drop me a line if you are interested in talking. redluvr2 at yahoo dot com.
ReplyDeletedude, dont worry bout it theres always someone out there for everybody, and ull find tht someone maybe not today or tomorrow but some day, just never give up hope, my i lived in massachusetts when i started dating my bf in ny now im living with him in ny and goin on a year next month i hope tht gives u a bit of hope for the future trust me i thought id never find anybody, and dont lose all the weight u worked so hard to gain tht would only be giving in to wut the depression wants i kno i suffer from depression bipolar and adhd i have the same shit every single day
ReplyDeletei won't try to console you by making empty promises :-). but the only only reason i want to say something is because i totally understand what you're going through. if you need someone to talk to, you have me. i'll send you my email address on myspace. ttyl.
ReplyDeleteI definitely understand what you are going through, sometimes it would just seem easier to give up on things entirely than to try to satisfy everyone's needs and desires that they expect from me. Sometimes you just have to be Sophistic and be a selfish person focused on the individual. Live like that for a while. Enjoy yourself by focusing on whatever brings you the most joy: playing the cello, tv, books, animals, etc. The rest will fall into place as it should.
ReplyDelete