So it has been quite awhile since I last updated, so I'll try and fill you in on the goings on as much as possible. I was dating a guy from the Pittsburgh area for about 3 months when out of the blue he broke up with me. Stating that he doesn't feel that it is fair that when I go to visit him that he can't focus all his attention on me. The reasoning given was rather shady so I don't know if there was some form of cheating going on. Especially when a few days before I was enlightened with this information he told me that he took the time to write a whole paper to an online friend telling him how to gain weight. It isn't that I am against someone in a relationship with me to not be proactive in the fat cause, it is that he told me that he was too stressed with work and school to see me for a weekend. Either way I had a room at the Hilton in Pittsburgh lined up for Valentines day for us to share and go sightseeing. I purchased it as nonrefundable because I thought it was a sure thing. So at the last minute I had to find someone to go with. Enter the skinny boy from southern Ohio, he is a gainer just starting out. So he went to Pittsburgh with me and we had a great time. I got to go to the Andy Warhol museum, got to ride the inclines with lots of belly gropage and a make out session and then got to got to the National Aviary, where I got to pet a real live south African penguin!
Regardless of the recent break up between the Pittsburgh native and I, I still had an excellent time. Of which I am really surprised that I wasn't depressed considering the circumstances. The new guy and I have been talking/texting daily, so things are going well on that front. I will most likely be visiting him during my spring break and hopefully he will reciprocate during his.
School has been going very well this semester. I am only taking 16 credit hours and I cut my work hours down to 24. This allows me to actually do my homework and study for tests and exams. I am also taking intro to gender and sexuality, I signed up for this mainly because I find it very hard to understand gay men. Not the straight acting men but the men that I would consider "flamers". After I came out to my mother, after the initial 4 weeks that we didn't talk, she told me "I don't care who you date so long as you don't bring home a flamer". I really don't think that this is where it stems from, mainly because I am not attracted to the over-the-top gay men in the world without my mom being prejudiced against them. I guess I just don't understand why they act the way that they do. Maybe the fact that they act that way makes me a little envious because they are able to be to be spotted out for a potential mate more easily then myself. Anyway enough rambling.
Gaining has been fairly stagnant, but my stretchmarks seem to be expanding with a few new ones radiating out from my bellybutton. Last time I weighed myself I was at 286 which is where I have been hovering for quite some time. It isn't that I have plateaued, it is more of I don't want to keep growing until I have a steady, dependable relationship. I have even considered losing some weight and then gaining it back when I find something stable. What do you all think?
As always,
Eat Up!
Hey there. Interesting new post. :-) Glad to hear that things are going well. I know you don't really know me, but I've followed your blog for a while and it was a bit of an inspiration for me as a gainer and could relate to almost everything your going through. And always I've wished you luck and happiness. First off, I wanted to say boo to the ex-bf and yay! that you found a nice guy to spend Valentines with, *searing jealousy*. Any who, the 'thinking about losing weight' idea you have is understandable, I've thought about it numerous times and there's nothing wrong with that. Personally, when I was at your weight, I made every effort to reach 300lbs since I was soooo close. But that's just me. I ended up reaching and surpassing my initial 300lb. goal no sweat. I think it would be wonderful to see you at such a weight category since you're already so close.
ReplyDeleteI recently had this friend online who was also a gainer/encourager. He helped me regain most of the extra weight I lost from my internship and then *poof!* he disappears. He never answers my messages and vanishes from sight whenever I log on (even when I made no attempt to contact him). It really hurt me for a bit, but we never got too far in the online relation ship for me to up and throw the gainer life out just yet. My advice, give it some thought. If I could have it my way, I'd stay where you are. After all you worked pretty hard to get there. Currently we're both the same weight. :-) Just realized that lol.
Continued happiness,
Chad.
Great to see you actve again with your blog and also happy you weren't down too long after the break up.
ReplyDeleteI would be VERY interested to hear about what you learn in your gender & sexuality class. I too would like to know more about the diversity in gay men.
You look great and its awesome to see you again.
Princely54
Hey man, good to hear that you're doing pretty good from what it sounds! (we all have ups and downs)
ReplyDeleteWanted to weigh in on the weight loss idea (pun intended :-p)
While i understand where you're coming from, I think that loosing to find a partner and then gaining when you have one seems like you're trying to open yourself up to guys who might not like a bigger you, which to me seems kinda against what you'd want. From what you say you want a guy who supports you there, and somebody who likes you after you loose weight but didn't before probably wont be that guy.
However, you gotta do whats best for you, so I'd say go with your instincts more than people's advice with this sort of thing.
And your last photos on biggercity are... how to say...
ReplyDeleteWahou wahou wahou wahou wahou ^^
Hi. Sorry to hear about your slight uncertainty and breakup. It's tough to start over and we all know what it's like to start questioning your priorities and where your life is going. Do whatever makes you happy and feels right to you. :-) (And if you're ever in northeast Ohio, I'm here! Would love to meet.) I'd encourage you in whatever you do; whether it would be to help you get bigger, find your place in the career world, sit in a coffeehouse with a cup of coffee, or find a cure for cancer. lol Whatever makes you happy; that's what counts. ;-)
ReplyDeletei've commented only once before, but i have followed you for a while, though not officially on your blog.... i'm a friend of yours on myspace though.
ReplyDeletebut anyways, i'm glad to see that the breakup wasnt too hard on you, and this new ohio boy sounds like a dream ^^ i'm so happy for you.
also, about gaining: if you like gaining, you are likely to do so again in the future....if you were to bother dropping pounds to please anyone, you'd only end up wanting the lost pounds back at some point. dont worry about what others think, only think about what *you* want in your heart. if you enjoy gaining, maintaining or loss, then follow what you feel: as long as you're happy. (and if you gained, i'm sure mr.ohio, and all of us out on the blogosphere, would be happy to encourage you all the way^^)
can i finish by saying that, last time i saw a vid or pic of you, you look amazing. possibly *the* best in my book ^^